Garrison Keillor On Old Men

I am, without shame, a big fan of Garrison Keillor. Even my style of writing is somewhat similar to his. That is no accident.

I still read his weekly column (Wednesday), published on the Internet. He is only a little younger than me, and here is what he says this week:

Nature is not interested in my twilight years; past 30, semen develops problems, man becomes irrelevant in the furtherance of the species. God created erectile dysfunction because old men can’t be trusted to raise kids. Living past 70 is an artificial idea, a lovely idea, like flying or anesthesia, but still. So an old man needs to justify his continuance, taking up space and being a traffic hazard on the freeway by driving the speed limit. My reason for living is simply this: I am still working and my best work may be yet ahead of me.

I say, 77 is a fine age, way beyond 17 or 37 or 57, but take your time getting there, and remember to marry someone who is good company and can carry one end of the conversation and sometimes both. There’s the real message.

I remember 77, and it was a good age, although I didn’t appreciate it at the time.

I think his best work is behind him, but he does not realize it. That’s one reason 77 is such a good age. A person expects life to go on forever, just as it was, not realizing the conveyer belt we are all on or seeing our daily decline. (Oops, another classmate just dropped off the end.)

I always drive a little below the speed limit on I-95 and ignore all those who shake their fist at me as they speed by, (I’m not the hazard.  My attitude is, if you don’t like the speed limit, tell your congressman. I am not going to break the law to satisfy your impatience. Young whippersnappers! Being retired, I am in no hurry to get to Costco.)

Also, I am surprised at the tiny differences that make one woman wildly desirable to a man, and another not. The difference can be only an inch or two of booby fat (or booty fat). Why care so much about appearance? Looking back on my graduation yearbook, you ladies all look good. Most do the deed in the dark, anyway. At most, sex only takes up a tiny portion of a marriage. The rest of the time, you have to live with this woman and all of her traits. Chose wisely. Marry a nurse, if you can. I did.

About Roger Walck

My reasons for writing this blog are spelled out in the posting of 10/1/2012, Montaigne's Essays. They are probably not what you think.
This entry was posted in Aging, Writers and Writing. Bookmark the permalink.

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