I Shudda Been Named “Saquon”

Saquon Barkley is Penn State’s talented running back. With a name like “Saquon,” of course he would grow up to be a running back. My name is “Roger.” What chance would I ever have? That’s why I did not try out for the Penn State team in 1954. Or 1955. Or 1956. Or 1957.

I was just reading a fiction article in The New Yorker where the mailman is named “Roger.” “Roger” is a good name for a mailman, not a running back.

Roger Rabbit

Looking for a funny name? Use “Roger” (as in “Roger Rabbit,” but without the “Rabbit”).

When I am volunteering at Longwood Gardens, I forget I am wearing a name badge, so I am surprised when a visitor uses my name with a slight trace of mocking laughter in their eyes. “Do I know you?” is my first thought. “Weren’t you that dopey-looking kid in third grade? You haven’t changed a bit.” Then I remember my badge.

(In a famous W.C. Fields exchange, a man turns his back on him, saying in disgust, “Ahh, you’re drunk!” Fields replies, “I may be drunk, but by tomorrow, I’ll be sober.  You’re stupid, and you’ll be stupid for the rest of your life!”)

The popular cat at Longwood, Belin, died over a year ago. I am afraid if they get another, they will name him “Roger.”

“Roger, the cat.” That should get a laugh, every time.  As much as “Saquon” will sixty years from now.

RWalck@Verizon.net

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About Roger Walck

My reasons for writing this blog are spelled out in the posting of 10/1/2012, Montaigne's Essays. They are probably not what you think.
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