I was a loner growing up (still am, basically), often wondering around Philadelphia alone, going to the Ocean City boardwalk alone, so it is no wonder I was often accosted by homosexual pedophiles (two separate impulses, only sometimes overlapping). When I was still in my early teens, I counted 13 times I had been accosted. (I had a cute butt back then). Being accosted was common for me, even expected, and my reaction when feeling a stranger’s hand resting on my thigh was only a bored sigh and rolling of my eyes, “Here we go again.” The last that I remember was at Penn State when I was about 20. I guess I lost my appeal after that. Every accoster quickly backed off, full of apologies for the misunderstanding, when I loudly said, “Hey, where’s a cop? I’m no queer!” —this coming from the squeaky voice of a skinny 13-year-old, directed at an adult man.
I was once accosted on the Ocean City boardwalk. The guy paid my way into the Strand movie theater to see an Abbot and Costello movie. When I pulled my “Where’s a cop?” routine, he claimed to only be reaching for the popcorn in the dark, and we quickly left for the boardwalk. He wanted to take me back to his room, which no way was going to happen. I was still figuring out how to get out of the situation (Simply running off was not an option. I don’t know why.), when I saw our classmate, Dick Kitts, of all people, walking alone. Mutually fortified, we both ran off together. We later saw the guy on the boardwalk again, alone. He looked scared to death to see us.
In retrospect, this was cruel, but probably the best response at the time. In those days, even gays thought gayness was an acquired taste, no different than developing a liking for broccoli. You wouldn’t like it at first, but you would learn to like it if experienced often enough. And many adult men were eager to provide the experience.
Since gayness was thought to be learned, the result of some early perverted influence, it could also be unlearned. Just keep an open mind. If you were not a normal heterosexual, it was because you had learned to like homosexuality too much too early. You needed to experience more of the much superior heterosexual activity.
So, today when I see gay parades with marchers holding signs, “We were born this way!” I am happy they are finally getting it right, and when this concept becomes widely accepted, such parades will no longer be needed. And trolling for young homosexual candidates will only be a quaint historical activity of a different time, long, long ago.