Ta-da! I am employed again, only temporarily, but that is fine because I am temporary, too.
I am working as one of those people you see in the TV political commercials scurrying behind and listening intently to the local politician who is striding purposefully along explaining to us dimwits about all of the public money they are going to shower on us once they get elected. Look closely and you will see we are really concentrating on the hair growing out of his ear (or hers, you’d be surprised to know), one of the tricks of our trade. Our only requirement is that we are clearly identified with some voting coterie. I am, of course, the token old white guy. I go by the professional nickname “Toady.”
Those of us in the profession recognize each other by sight. We have the frazzled housewife, the angry woman teacher, the blue-collar, unemployed white guy, the black waitress, the Hispanic dishwasher, and the policeman whose badge really says “Sgt. Friday.” We have a very popular light-skinned black woman playing a waitress who fits several categories at once. Her character could be Hispanic, has to wash the dishes at the end of the day, but is now out of work. In reality, she has her own social service business with the city as her only client. She only works in commercials to help her political friends. She sure doesn’t need the money.
We appear as different as any group of Halloween trick-or-treaters, but we all have the same rapt expression of hope and gratitude. Church experience is helpful. Occasionally we are asked to nod thoughtfully as the politician is shown speaking. (You should hear what they are really saying! It’s tough. Any of us who breaks up on camera gets fired.)
We make minor changes in our appearance for each gig so we are not recognized as the same followers of another politician. We have to remain anonymous, like the backup singers for a pop star.
Right now we are in high demand and can make big bucks. Do the math. Think of all the politicians running for office, and each one needs several commercials with several flunkies in each one. It adds up, I kid you not.
(Actually, I am kidding.)