“The Living Dead and the Deadly Living,” by Joe Queenan. The Wall Street Journal, 2/20/2016.
“I do not share my countrymen’s fear of zombies. This may be because I grew up in a section of North Philadelphia where no zombie in his right mind would dare venture. [In my neighborhood] no one worried much about the Living Dead. We had our hands full worrying about the Living Who Might Want You Dead.” (Queenan)
The zombies around us, Queenan goes on to explain, are politicians, retired professional athletes playing in senior leagues, TV hosts, sportscasters, and doo-wop bands doing PBS fundraisers, to which I would add any local celebrity hosting the Mummers Parade on TV.
“It’s not that they are evil or creepy,” says Queenan. “It’s that they’re creatures that refuse to accept the verdict of history. It’s that they’re creatures that refuse to get off the stage.” Like Philadelphia’s Jerry Blavat (ouch, that was mean).
Okay, he has a point, except for Kathy Orr as I wrote about 9/7/2015. After being let go from Philadelphia’s CBS TV channel, she landed on her feet, is now reporting the weather on Fox News (fitting in very well there) and can stay on their stage for a long as she wants, as far as I’m concerned.
I kid you not.