Many years ago, probably on an HBO special, a black comedian told what he claimed to be the world’s dirtiest joke. He dragged it out through his entire performance with many digressions, but when he finally delivered the punch line at the end of his act, I had to agree. That was the dirtiest joke I had ever heard.
Since then, many people have told me what they claimed to be really, really dirty jokes, but none was as dirty as the one I heard from the comedian. After all these years, I am convinced he was right. That was, and is, the world’s dirtiest joke.
Are they still called dirty jokes? It sounds so archaic. I would think “sexual jokes” would be more in line with today’s acceptance of whatever consenting adults want to do with each other. Nothing sexual is dirty anymore. Unsanitary, maybe, but morally dirty, no.
If you are a male, do you remember the first dirty joke you ever heard? A group of my friends once discussed this, and to our surprise, the first dirty joke we each heard was the same one. We all grew up in the Philadelphia area, but in different suburbs and the coincidence was surprising. The joke itself was stupid. It was just an excuse to say a bad word, and at ten years of age, that was enough to send us into hysterics. Someday, someone will get a Ph.D. by interviewing men all across the country and listing the first dirty joke they remember. The list will be small—perhaps just one, the primal dirty joke that preceded all others.
The comedian’s dirty joke was dirty on several levels. It did not depend on profanity, and it seemed like an ordinary story until the punch line, which brought you up short with an “Ugg! I don’t believe I heard what I just heard.”
The comedian was not one of the major comedians. I had never heard of him before or since and I don’t remember his name, so I cannot Google him to find if this was his signature story. All I remember was that he was an older man, not a hip, young comedian. And his delivery was relaxed and polished that could only come from a long career on the stage, probably as a burlesque comedian. He did not just blurt out the world’s dirtiest joke, but milked it, slowly revealing a little at a time, piece-by-piece, like Countess Bare-assy at Philadelphia’s Troc getting down to her merkin and pasties.
Someday you may hear it, but not from me. If you do, you will know that’s the one, without a doubt.