Okay, women, what is this obsession with your eyebrows? Why are you all so concerned? Eyebrows look fine the way they naturally grow without any styling. No pruning of the shrubbery needed.
I could easily increase this blog’s readership ten times by titling this posting “Three Eyebrow Styles You Should Never Wear.” That would be irresistible to many women, but that is not my point.
In the 1920s, a style that carried over to women my mother’s age was to pluck them out entirely and draw in a new pair. I have no idea why, except that is what movie stars like Jean Harlow and Myrna Loy did to get them impossibly thin, impossibly arched. Women ever since are terrified of being seen without their makeup on, and rightly so. For many, their first chore every morning is still to draw their face back on or they will look like a penis.
That completely plucked-out style has moderated today, but women still cannot leave well enough alone. A recent style I have noticed is what I call comma eyebrows—thick near the nose, then abruptly thin further out. Why do that, except to show you have too much time and money? Nobody’s eyebrows naturally grow like that. I suspect it is easy for the cosmologist, or whatever you call the eyebrow-barber.
Plucking eyebrows, waxing them, or threading them off has got to hurt. My eyes tear up just thinking about it. A while back, I thought bushy eyebrows were an upcoming trend. They looked good on Brooke Shields, and still do, but they never caught on with anyone but her. I suspect older women’s eyebrows are too sparse. They would have to wear eye-merkins.
Ditch the ‘stash and the Freda Kahlo monobrow looks okay to me—even attractive in a perverse sort of way.